Who I am (First Entry)

I'm 22 now, and I feel like I should really know who I am by now, but I don't. I honestly don't know anything about who I am. I know my likes & dislikes, my hobbies, things that tick me off, and stuff like that. But I dont' know who I am inside. Why I feel the way I do. I feel like I'm on this neverending journey to discover who I am.

I will be 23 in a little more than a month, and I'm scared to death. I don't have a degree and I've dropped out of college twice. I'm working on getting back into college, but it's still weighing heavily on my mind. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I need a magic 8 ball. But not a yes or no one, a full answer one. I suppose that's what the Bible is for though.

I want to go back, but I don't know if I can. Other than the obvious financial obligations, I also feel like it'll hurt a lot. I don't know what holds me back. My, well my ex, dumped me Thanksgiving last year, and yes I'm still not over him. I don't know if I ever will be completely. But I know he's not holding me back. He has his own life now, going to school, got his nice car and everything. And me, nothing. I need to move on, but don't know why I can't. Is it my family? It might be. But I can't always rely on my family. I just need to pull myself together and just do it. It's the only way I'm ever going to be able to move on.

I know my friends will support my decision, even if it'll be hard, which it will be. But most of them, will understand...hopefully. Some may push away, but that's something I'm prepared for. IF they do, it just means they never cared in the first place. A lot of people tell me I'm too passionate about things, like love, life, friendship, but seriously why not? I put everything I have into everything I do, because I never want to feel like I didn't do the best I could. Before I leave here, if I do, I will do everything I can, to make my life good.